• Ri


Have you really wanted something ? Really wanted something that you'd apply all your might and will. You have to feel it in your gut. you have to crave it so bad, the thought of not having it doesn't even cross your mind. Wanting something so much, so hard that you truly commit to it.

Commitment : " The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. "

Think about it, have you really wanted something so hard, so bad, that your mind and body aligned and become one with the sole purpose of obtaining it for you.

It is funny but I just recently realized that I never really had a strong commitment for anything. I wanted things, plenty and I have had them. I am young, intelligent and I have an adorable face. All the necessary tools to get what you want when you want it. I have been through many challenges, in my career, my relationships and my personal goals, and I almost always succeeded. To be honest, I rarely lose and when I do it is often because I decided it was not worth it.

Sound vain huh? But it is the honest truth. A truth I have only came to grasp. Blinded by my privileges, I never really took the time to consider that there are many challenges out there that people continuously face that I had the chance to never encounter myself. I had always had a safety net. My family, my intellect, my gender and my looks. Do you know what it is to always have a safety net and what it does to the mind? It tells you, you can have everything you want if you desire it, and have you not doubt that sentence at all. Why? because there is always a plan b so you'd have it.

I recently read a tweet comparing wealth that could be used as a perfect example. It said : " If you give 1000 $ to a poor person, it will be spent in a few days/weeks, however if you give 1000$ to a rich person, it would generate more incomes in the means of investment." then a person replied : " A gift of 1000$ to a poor person would be used as they are already below the line. Their needs require to be satisfied, they cannot afford to gamble with it. However it becomes disposable incomes for a rich. That they have it or not, all their needs are met, so they can afford to gamble with it. "

Now let's replace the sum of money with opportunities. Any opportunity, would you really be committed to this opportunity if you had a safety net? No matter how bad you want it, would you really fight for it ?

The only time of my life where I really fought for something were when I almost lost my mind by grief and despair. I fought with all my might, pleaded to God with all my strength to gain peace of mind and overcome it. I barely remember it now unless I fully concentrate on it, and when I do, I remember pleading with every cells on my body. I remember following a strict routines, waking up everyday with that goal in mind and going to sleep every night begging and fighting for it. I knew no one could hand it to me, I knew it didn't matter who I was nor how I was physically. This was an internal battle and I could not afford to lose.

Years later here I am, facing new challenges, and thinking that I am completely committed in succeeding, yet I am now realizing that this is not an easy feat and maybe it is not because I was not really committed. Challenging that thought, I have learned that I was not indeed.

Commitment is hard to come by. Mainly if that commitment is needed to be made to you. I seek to be committed to me first and foremost. I never had to before, it was never a must has I had a strong family backing me up. I seek to be committed to my personal goals. Most of my goals were humanitarians, helping others and I have done plenty of that al'hamdullilah but I never committed to goals pertaining to me, myself and I. Growing up in a household were you are taught to be altruistic, you deem unnecessary to nourish personal endeavors that exclude others. I have never commit to a relationship for love. I hated dating, I hated everything that comes with it. I deemed it unecessary. I seek to be committed to a partner and cherish them in ways I would love to be cherished.

On this new journey we are learning about commitment. Commitment to ourselves and commitment to others.

What does commitment means for you?

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